Sunday, March 6, 2011

Moving On

My therapist once asked me when something really good happens, who do you call first? When something really bad happens who is the first person you call? My answer was not my husband.  I knew that things were not going well.

Recently, I went to the hospital for a head injury and I didn't miss my ex husband. I had no drive to call and tell him what happened.  He was not the person I was hoping was laying next to me.  That's when I realized I am ok, that I did make the right decision, that I will move on. 



Friday, February 25, 2011

Push

You never know who you really are until you are pushed to the edge.

Why would you not want to see who you can really become? There are different moments in your life when you think that you have hit rock bottom, that there is no way it can get worse. Its just a test, to see what you will do, how you will react!

People always say "stop playing games", life is a game maybe, Monopoly! Sometimes you have to go straight to jail don't pass go and do not collect  $200 but, if you don't go for the Hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place who knows what could happen.

If we are only going to be on this Earth for a certain amount of time why not play it to its fullest... Anyone want to play?!!!!


Monday, February 14, 2011

My Silly Life

"Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around" - Pink


It has already been over two months and I thought to myself today "wow it seems like so long ago when I packed my bags and moved". One friend said because I have moved on...

However, it made me think about the decision and situations you are put in throughout your life. No matter what your brain is telling you, you seem to 9 out of 10 times to go with your heart. Then I heard this song by Pink and I had to stop and think.  There has been some traumatic events in my life and I always let my heart lead me there. You always know what is right but when faced with the choice we become silent. There is no changing the past only realizing what effects it has made on me.

I have built an enormous wall around my heart for a long time, no clue if I will ever let it down or what effects that will have on the rest of my life, but for now that is how it will be. You cant ask to be let in, you can only wait by the door. No one should ask you to let them in, its rude. If you are waiting, wait patiently until someone offers you a drink.

I always say that people come into your life at the right time for a reason. Tonight walking and feeling a bit depressed, I stopped at a crosswalk and a kid stopped next to me on his bike. He couldn't have been more than 14 years old when he asked me to give him a high five. Instinctual I did and at that moment I felt happy. People of religion say that God is everywhere, mysterious, and has a plan. I don't consider myself very religious, but at that moment I thought about God....